The HOW Fund has put their generous support behind HHI's upcoming efforts to expand our efforts into Uganda. Hands to Hearts is honored and delighted by their contribution to bring our gift of empowering women and nurturing children to Africa.
It seems that almost every week I receive an email or a call from someone interested in supporting an existent orphanage or who wants to establish new orphanages. While their desire to help needy children is heart-warming, I cringe at the thought of another orphanage. I tell people that orphanages are much like prisons, they are a "build them and they will come" scenario.
I ask people to pause for a moment and ask, where are all those "orphans" living now? The answer is typically that they are living with their family - yes, they do have families. Most children categorized as "orphaned" have one living parent, sometimes both parents are living. And even in cases where both parents are deceased, there are aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Here is a graph created by the Better Care Network Secretariat, which demonstrates the staggering percentage of children who reside in orphanages, while they have at least one living parent.
| Country | Estimated percentage of children in orphanages with at least one parent alive |
| | 85-90% |
| | 87% |
| | 59% |
| | 80% |
| | 80% |
| | 80% |
| | 39% |
The driving force behind most children moving into orphanages is poverty. When as a parent you are barely surviving the day-to-day crush of profound poverty, and you can barely feed the children you already have, you may view the orphanage as a good option. Consider that the children there typically get regular meals, basic medical care and clothing and schooling - even more benefits if this orphanage is supported by Western funding. This can outwardly look like a great alternative to what little the parent can offer. But does a baby or child live on food, medicine, books and toys alone? Can an institution provide what a parent can? The answer to both questions is a vehement "No".
I have visited many orphanages and I have heard reports from many more. The reality is that they do exist and the reasons they do are complex and often involve multi-faceted -- family poverty, disease, a serious medical condition or disability, gender preferences, the stigma of unwed motherhood, etc... -- but an institution cannot provide what a family can. Orphanages are simplistic solutions that let parents, family, community, society and government all off the hook. If an orphanage building exists it will be filled with children, but dropping children off at these institutes is much easier than trying to reverse the tide 3, or 5, or 17 years later when it is time to reintegrate these children into the community.
Westerners want to help, but most do not understand the extremely complex dynamics that are at play, and building orphanages for "orphans" is about the most destructive possible action one can take. When a child is removed from his or her family and community and placed in an institution, it is often a one-way ticket, and they rarely leave. Institutionalization typically causes radical developmental delays, impairing physical, cognitive, language and social/emotional development. How can a child learn to love and be loved in an institution? And, when children do not build this basic human capacity, the lifetime consequences for the child and community can be devastating. This is exactly the concern that led HHI to begin our work in orphanages.
While HHI continues to support orphanages with care-giver training and consultations, we now work more within communities, with pre-school teachers, day care workers and directly with parents. We have found that these people are working every day to care for their children, or the children of their community, and every day they are faced with poverty, lack of food and resources, gender discrimination, etc., BUT they are eager to provide for their children and they are excited and honored to have an HHI Trainer teach them how they can best support their children’s health and development.
Since our launch in 2006, HHI has worked with just over 3,000 women, and they are in turn improving the well-being of almost 23,000 children! And, this has been done with less than $400,000, which is pretty amazing, considering the typical results are: children are healthier, gaining more weight, learning language earlier, have improved sleep and digestion and are easier to soothe; and women are more confident, take greater pride in their work, provide improved nutrition, practice better hygiene and sanitation, are more responsive to their children, and more at ease in their care-giving.
Sadly, a recent CNN article recently trumpeted the building of a new orphanage in
What if this concerted effort (which raised $800,000) was focused on helping the families of their children who “couldn’t afford to care for them”? What if they were given support with some extra food, school fees and health care? I doubt that would have cost almost a million dollars, and would be considerably less expensive than the monthly operating costs will be to care for all of these children in the orphanage.
FACT: In
I think it’s time that we think more deeply, become more informed, and meet people where they are. Orphanages are not the solution, at best they can offer a temporary safety net. There are much better ways to help. Find ways to invest in options that keep children where they belong, in the community. This is healthier for the children, the families, communities and future global society.
1. People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
2. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
3. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
4. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
5. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
6. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
7. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
8. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
9. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
This article is an astonishing portrait of inspirational stories, horrifying and hopeful statistics and successes that can be created and recreated around the world. It underlies all the reasons why HHI was founded on the interwoven principles of Empowering Women ~ Nurturing Children. To support children, we must first support their caregivers.
When Sujatha arrived to lead the trainings, the local organizers led her to a small community room, which must have been really, really small, as she reported that the room would have held about 6-8 women. Gathering behind Sujatha, as she walked to and then viewed this tiny space were the mothers, lots of mothers! In total 28 mothers, all with babies and children in tow, were following her to make sure that they would have a space in the Hands to Hearts training, and it seemed they knew space was limited.
The village vendors, pulling their carts would come upon the street only to see it filled with mothers and children conducting puppet shows, singing songs and dancing, and they would find another way to get to the market. Men, women, grandmas, grandpas and kids all walking, biking or driving through the village came upon the same scene, and often before they would go to find a way around this training, they would sit and become a part of the training themselves.
Bravo to these women for not letting anything get in the way of their learning, and kudos to Sujatha for her endless creativity, flexibility and tenacity in giving!
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